The Unwanted Self (A Poem)

We've tried everything we could
To rid that part we hate
But its permanence remains
An unrelenting mocking that sneers its toxic venom
A bitter voice that hisses and says "you are worthless"..."you will never be loved"
Sometimes it's a presence that burns so deeply
Other times its carbon monoxide;
A silent existence that unknowingly and insidiously destroys the soul
Feeling its poison and vitriolic hate, at a moment too late
A spectral tyrant, a looming invisible force, ominous and omnipotent
And to annihilate it, to destroy and rid this enemy, we alter the self
We stuff, augment, reduce, graft, feed, snort, inject, drink, compulsively study, enhance, extend, amputate, sever, cover, restrict, rescue others, isolate, obsess, blame, project, bully, elevate above another, hate the other, destroy the other...
And it won't leave...that force just won't go away,
A soul squatter, hiding in the shadows, always out of reach...
...And then we realize that we are destroying ourselves
Pushing away that part that has been injured, a cavernous wound within the soul,
Throbbing with inflamed hurt caused by another, filled with their own agony.
It becomes clear...we have been running away from ourselves,
Terrified of facing that haunting presence,
Believing it is repulsive, evil, destructive, impure, unloveable;
It bleeds into every part of our soul, consuming all of the self.
And we surrender all of ourself,
Laying down the surgical instruments of self-alteration, operated in self-hatred.
And a loving Presence reveals Himself in the midst of ache,
Pouring over the wounds, cleansing them with an oil inimitable, 
A richly tender balm that smooths over the rough, gritty, calloused layers,
That have obfuscated the true self, obstructing us from seeing the shamed parts in truth.
A burtal but satisfying restoration,
The true self surfacing out of the rubble of shame,
The scars, a marking of the painful process of healing,
A symbol of a Love transformative and the self becoming united with the Loving Healer.

fb62ed7853214862a2ad4fe476bcd9d8.jpg

The Unwanted Self (A Poem)

We've tried everything we could
To rid that part we hate
But its permanence remains
An unrelenting mocking that sneers its toxic venom
A bitter voice that hisses and says "you are worthless"..."you will never be loved"
Sometimes it's a presence that burns so deeply
Other times its carbon monoxide;
A silent existence that unknowingly and insidiously destroys the soul
Feeling its poison and vitriolic hate, at a moment too late
A spectral tyrant, a looming invisible force, ominous and omnipotent
And to annihilate it, to destroy and rid this enemy, we alter the self
We stuff, augment, reduce, graft, feed, snort, inject, drink, compulsively study, enhance, extend, amputate, sever, cover, restrict, rescue others, isolate, obsess, blame, project, bully, elevate above another, hate the other, destroy the other...
And it won't leave...that force just won't go away,
A soul squatter, hiding in the shadows, always out of reach...
...And then we realize that we are destroying ourselves
Pushing away that part that has been injured, a cavernous wound within the soul,
Throbbing with inflamed hurt caused by another, filled with their own agony.
It becomes clear...we have been running away from ourselves,
Terrified of facing that haunting presence,
Believing it is repulsive, evil, destructive, impure, unloveable;
It bleeds into every part of our soul, consuming all of the self.
And we surrender all of ourself,
Laying down the surgical instruments of self-alteration, operated in self-hatred.
And a loving Presence reveals Himself in the midst of ache,
Pouring over the wounds, cleansing them with an oil inimitable, 
A richly tender balm that smooths over the rough, gritty, calloused layers,
That have obfuscated the true self, obstructing us from seeing the shamed parts in truth.
A burtal but satisfying restoration,
The true self surfacing out of the rubble of shame,
The scars, a marking of the painful process of healing,
A symbol of a Love transformative and the self becoming united with the Loving Healer.

fb62ed7853214862a2ad4fe476bcd9d8.jpg