There exists a dance within the romantic relationship. One that beckons and yearns for closeness, while also encountering its counterpart of distance, revealing to the self the need to be bonded to another. And women are the barometers for connection in the relationship.
The reason why women have been gifted with this innate sense of relational closeness connects to her motherhood. Women must be attuned to their children, especially as infants, discerning their needs through the expression of cries, eventually developing into emotion. They are the initial foundation or source of closeness and connection with their little ones. If a mother ignores her child’s cries for nurture, care and relief, the child will become malnourished and arrested in their development.
This is in no way a reduction of womanhood, solely defined by her motherhood or her mothering nature; but I cannot separate women from their innate desire and ability to mother. The two are inextricably bound within her. To reject or annihilate this (which is impossible), is to reject a part of the self that is inseparable and beautiful.
And so this inherent attunement to relational connection is sensed in her own romantic partnership.
When a woman cries for closeness from her husband, she is experiencing distance from him and its impact on the relationship. But even further, she is signaling to him that he is distant from his own self, for if he is truly connected to his heart, he will hear his own cries for closeness, engagement and connection, to which he will be faced with the decision to turn towards her or away.
The greater the chasm between the two, the louder and more intense her cries become, evolving into anger, a protest towards the distance. Like someone who is far away in proximity, so the yells for emotional closeness grow louder as her lover increases his distance from her.
How beautiful is this; that the true design of a relationship is a harmonious rhythm. When the man elevates himself above her or if he turns away in the relationship, the rhythm negatively impacts the harmony. Simply, when men elevate themselves above women, consequently objectifying them, women will inevitably hate their innate womanhood and strive to replicate a distorted masculinity. And if men turn away from their intimate partners, women will make great efforts to bring harmony back to the connection, but if distance is prolonged, she will feel hopelessness and pull away.
If we listen to the beckoning of women, they are telling us to turn toward our own hearts, facing the struggle, shame and self judgment within. They are calling us to encounter the true and false self, and enter into the hard journey of God fulfilling and restoring authentic manhood, one which ventures into the heart of the self and the hearts of others. As men boldly turn towards the heart, consequently they will begin to walk in true manhood that values and elevates, with honor and great care, those around them.
True Manhood embraces True Womanhood, heeding the call from women to listen to one's own heart, disconnection and need for intimacy.